My fault

I was raised thinking
my shortcomings were my fault
As in lack of will
As in intentional
Not loved by mother, my fault
My height and weight, my fault
Being seduced, my fault
Being abused, my fault
Feeling insecure, my fault
It was all my fault
My behavior
My appearance
My sleep
My dreams
My unhappiness
I was supposed to
Expected to
Control all those
To be better at those
But I couldn’t
Because I was no good
And that too
Was my fault


6 thoughts on “My fault

  1. Your fault is you cared about all these, I think. Beautiful manifestations of inner thoughts. But when one comes to know that all the parameters around them are worthless one becomes free in spirit, thoughts and inner-peace. 🙂 Be happy. 🙂

    1. Thanks Manu for your encouraging words. What a nice thought to become “free” and have inner peace. This is both about me but also society at large. There is quite a bit of unnecessary pressure and expectation put on us, either by those around us or ourselves. That includes the victim blaming mentality or winner takes all … As in winners deserve the win and losers deserve the loss, and the prey deserves to be preyed upon. I really appreciate your feed back.

  2. What you have written resonates with me. I feel so insecure; it is now that I am trying to gain some self worth. Beautiful and heartfelt. Parmis, believe in your self because you are a great person.

  3. Parmis, You cut right to the heart of an essential cultural flaw that everyone has to contend with. The myth of individuality (individual rights, responsibilities and free choices) and the habit of blaming the victim collide badly on most people.

    This is a thought provoking and deep piece. Thanks for writing it. All the best.

    1. Thank you Alice. These days my thoughts + laptop take me to many different places. I suppose my unconscious is trying to tell me something! Thanks again for your encouraging words.

      1. Keep chasing those thoughts with your laptop. They are going important places. The world requires clear seers and people that are free enough to speak the truth.

        Keep writing.

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