Never say never …

Tonight, as I sought shelter in the bathtub of our main floor bathroom, along with my daughter and cat, and while listening to the sound of the sirens, I couldn’t help but think, how the hell did I end up here? Living in Texas was a definitely on my “Never” list.

It was 18 years ago around this time when my parents, myself and younger sister, a fresh of the boat family of 4, along with our cat left Rolla, Missouri with all our belongings in a red Dodge Caravan and headed toward California. As we drove through the flat lands of middle America, I thought to myself “how depressing”. Flat land and no mountains. I hated the drive perhaps for more reasons than the landscape but the scenery definitely did not suit me. Our path took us through Texas amidst a nasty Tornado/hail storm. It looked as though an ocean was falling down the sky followed by golf ball size hail. We sought shelter in a gas station. It was terrifyingly hostile. We didn’t have weather like this back home. It was as though this part of the country was giving us a warning “stay away”! I made a mental note to never willingly come back to these parts of America. That is before I knew anything about the politics, the guns and all the other things that clearly puts me at odds with places like this.

Over a year ago we had to move to Texas due to my husband’s job. Interestingly, my husband too had Texas was in his “NEVER, EVER“ list! It is temporary” we said, and I still wish it to be. But tonight just as many nights last spring and summer, I found myself hovering in a tiny little bathtub, awaiting for the storms to pass. In all honesty, I believe if I am to get hit by a tornado, or an earth quake or any other form of natural or man made disaster, I would and there is no escaping the ultimate finality of life. But I can’t help but remember the promise I had made myself 18 years ago, and how I broke that promise.

Yep, Destiny has done it again
perhaps there is a lesson here
To never say NEVER again!


4 thoughts on “Never say never …

  1. Parmis,
    I hope you and your family are safe and well.

    This is a sensitive and elegant post. I like the way you’ve taken the personal and extended to the more general human principals.

    I, too, learned not to say “never”. Each time I’ve said it, I ended up doing that very thing. Sometimes it works out well. I was “never” going to have children. I have two. They are the lights of my life. The Fates seem to listen in for the “N” word (never) and keep track just to make it come true. 😉

  2. Thanks so much Alice. That’s so true, I was never getting married or having kids and here I am (expecting a baby boy by the way)! Life works out one way or another and perhaps there is humor and amusement in how Fate plays with us 😉

  3. I smiled when reading the post and comments. When I started my masters i wanted to complete it have a posh job, buy myself a car and get an apartment before getting married. Though I had a serious boyfriend then (who later became my husband) marriage was the last thing on my mind;. Then i got pregnant just a few months to finishing the Masters and we had to marry (he was all for it).

    I never got my posh job nor my posh car. I have three wonderful boys now and a job with flexible hours enough to give me time with my family. I may have regrets but very few. 🙂

    1. That is so wonderfully put Celestine and I too am smiling now 🙂 Sometimes when things don’t work out the way we planned, they work out better! I am still figuring things out but I wouldn’t change the life I’ve gained with what I thought I wanted to have …

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